“My parents are going to be so mad at me.”

If you are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy while in high school or college you might be thinking this exact phrase. 

Breaking the news to your parents about a pregnancy, especially a teen pregnancy, can be nerve-racking. You might be worried they will be angry or disappointed in you. While everyone’s relationship with their parents is unique, here are some helpful tips on how to navigate the conversation.

How to tell my parents I’m unexpectedly pregnant.

1. Process this news yourself

If you just found out you are pregnant, your mind is likely swarming with questions and worries. How did this happen? How will I finish school? Will the father want to be involved, or maybe who is the father? What will my parents think of me? These are all normal things to be wondering.

Before you tell your parents about the pregnancy, take some time to first process this news by yourself. Identify your feelings, your plans for the future, and questions you might want answers to. Knowing where you are at emotionally can help you prepare for whatever reaction they might have.

You can learn more about how to process an unexpected pregnancy here.

3. Practice what you are going to say

Knowing what you want to say and how you want to share the news can eliminate some nerves. It might be helpful to write out what you are thinking and feeling or practice what you want to say out loud. This can help you accurately express your emotions to your parents.

4. Pick a time to share the news

Decide on a time and place when your parents can be fully present. Try not to delay the conversation too long, the longer time passes, the harder it will be for you and your parents to have this conversation.

You can begin the conversation with something like, “Mom, Dad, I have something difficult I want to talk to you about. It may or may not upset you, but I’m scared and not sure what to do. I really need your support right now.”

Your parents will probably be shocked at the news. Give them a few minutes to process this initial news and then begin to share how you are feeling. Remind them this is difficult news for you too and how much you need their support. Show your parents that you have begun to think this through and have a plan, even if it’s a short-term plan.

5. Anticipate their reaction and prepare to answer questions

Your parents’ first reaction may not be what you need to hear. Whether they are surprised, angry, disappointed, or confused, try to remind yourself their initial reaction and feelings are probably not directed towards you. Shock can cause responses that may not fully reflect their long-term feelings about the pregnancy.

Your parents are likely to have lots of questions, especially if they didn’t know you were sexually active. Leave the conversation open so they can ask any questions by saying something like, “You probably have some questions, and I can answer any you might have.” Answer their questions calmly and honestly.

Don’t be afraid to come back to the conversation later if the situation escalates or more time is needed to think through things.

6. Give them time

Remember, your parents’ lives are about to change too. Just like you needed some time to process the pregnancy, your parents will need some time to figure out what they are truly feeling and thinking too. Showing them patience and understanding can go a long way.

7. Remember you make the final decision